if it means a lot to you

well done! sebentar lagi liburan selesai. dan liburan gue belom kerasa sama sekali men haha selama liburan kerjaan gue cuma itu-itu aja.
btw kenapa gue ngepost hari ini? mau cerita banget abisnya gaktau harus cerita sama siapa lagi...
gak penting sih. ya biasalah soal pacar.
sekarang kondisinya gue lagi berantem sama pacar, berantem parah. gara-gara gue ngefollow salah satu temennya dia yang dia larang buat gue deketin. hem wajar sih itu tandanya dia sayang sama gue kan?
tapi dari satu masalah muncul masalah lain. masalah yg makin besar.
kalo ditanya gue cape apa engga ya cape lah. cape sama semua keegoisan diri gue sendiri tapi mau gimana lagi keegoisan gue udah mendarah daging banget.; gue egois. iya egois
kenapa gue selalu berantem soal masalah kecil? karena gue gak mau ngalah dan gue keras kepala. mungkin dia cape bilangin gue terus-terusan. kalo udah klimaks, mungkin dia bakal ninggalin gue dan semua khayalan gue tentang masa depan sama dia cuma jadi sampah. sampah yg harus dikubur dalem-dalem.
keputusan dia, belum sepenuhnya bisa gue terima dengan baik, banyak hal yg bikin gue nolak putus sama dia.
salah satunya karna dia cowo pertama yg bikin gue ngerasa nyaman kayak gini
kedua gue sayang banget sama dia. sayang banget.
ketiga, dia beda dari cowo manapun yg pasti gak bisa nahan emosinya. tp dia? selalu bisa nahan emosinya.
masih banyak lagi yg gak mungkin buat gue tulis disini.
dan satu hal lagi, gue berharap banget, dia yg bakal nemenin gue seterusnya:-)

kalo dia buka blog gue lewat web, mau gue kasih tau satu lagu yg menurut gue ngegambarin kondisi kita sekarang banget. sesuai judul, If It Means A Lot To You by A Day To Remember

And hey darling
I hope you're good tonight
And I know you don't feel right when I'm leaving
Yeah I want it but no I don't need it
Tell me something sweet to get me by
'Cuz I can't come back home till they're singing

La, la la la

'Til everyone is singing

La, la la la

If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear to you
That we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow
This will all be in our past
Well it might before the best

And hey sweetie
Well I need you here tonight
And I know that you don't want to be leaving me
Yeah you want it but I can't help it
I just feel complete when you're by my side
But I know you can't come home 'til they're singing

La, la la la

'Til everyone is singing

La, la la la

If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear to you
That we can make this last
(La la la)
If you can wait till I get home
Then I swear come tomorrow
This will all be in our past
Well it might before the best

You know you can't give me what I need
And even tho it means so much to me
I can't wait through everything
Is this really happening

I swear I'll never be happy again
And don't you dare say (minus the that) we can just be friends
I'm not some boy that you can sway
We knew it'd happen eventually

Now everybody's singing

La, la la la

1

Makin gak tega aja sama pacar gue. Dia muak sama gue. Ngerasa gak dihargain sama gue. Jadi dia gak betah disini.
Untung nanti gue pindah. Jadi...ya se-enggaknya dia bisa bernafas lega. Soalnya udah gak ada sampah lagi dihidupnya dia.
Bayangin aja kalo hidup lo selalu diganggu sama orang aneh yg selalu kepo sama urusan lo? Ya itu gue. Gue selalu mau tau apa yg dilakuin pacar gue dan sama siapa dan kemana dan kapan dan blablabla
Sampah kan? Itu bukan perhatian. Tapi itu lebay.
Makanya, gue sebagai pacar yg baik:D mau ngasih satu kebahagian ya walaupun kecil, tapi paling tidak bisa bikin pacar gue ngerasa bebas. Gak di kepoin lagi sama gue. Gituuu ehehe

Btw. Kenapa skrg kepala gue makin sering sakit ya? Setiap gue marah, selalu kepala gue sakit banget
Gue gak boleh ketergantungan sama obat. Obat itu cuma bikin hilang sesaat tp nanti muncul lagi
Terus gue harus gimana? Gak betah juga bentar bentar sakit bentar bentar sakit. Cape. Pengen hidup nyaman tenang gitu. Tapi belom bisa.
Semoga nanti, gue bisa ngerubah hidup gue. Hidup pacar gue juga. Gak sabar!:)

fine

Malem2 gini. Nangis sambil ngetik post lewat hape.
Okeee bukannya gue lemah atau apapun.
Tapi gue cukup banget sama semua ini.
Semua kebegoan gue
Semua kesampahan gue
Semua ketololan gue
Semua keegoisan gue
Semua kebangsatan gue
Semua kebrengsekan gue
Semua. Semua. Semua.
Gue mungkin orang tertolol di dunia. Udah nyia2in kesempatan yg udh dikasih buat gue kesekian kali
Kesempatan yg gue kira bisa gue dapetin
Tapi ternyata semuanya...
Gak ada gunanya lagi
Kesalahan gue yg bikin dia pergi
Dia ngejauh
Dia ngehindar
Dia mulai ngelupain gue
Pembelaan diri gue udah gak ada harganya lagi
Kali ini gue udah ngelakuin kesalahan yg fatal bgt
Gue jalan sama anak temen nyokap gue. Walaupun gue gak jalan berdua, iya gue jalan sama nyokap dan temennya.
Tapi tetep aja ini bikin dia kecewa
Dia sakit hati sama sikap gue
Gue emang gak pernah bisa ngerti jalan fikiran dia
Apa yg gue lakuin selalu salah dimata dia
Dia yg sebenernya tulus sayang sama gue mulai ngejauh karna sikap gue sendiri yg egois, bangsat, brengsek. Gue nyia2in org yg Tuhan kasih buat nemenin hidup gue yg sebentar ini
Gue gak bersyukur atas apa yg Tuhan kasih buat gue. Gue emg cewe tertolol di dunia.
Mungkin udah gak ada kata maaf buat gue lagi yg bakal diterima sama dia
Iya. Gue udah terlalu sering nyakitin dia. Gak mungkin gue sakitin terus2an.
Mungkin kalo dia mau jujur, dia muak sama gue. Dan berharap gue cepet pergi dari kehidupan dia.
Karna sumpah, gue emg orang paling gak berguna diseluruh muka bumi.
Gue egois. Gak pernah mikirin perasaan dia. Dia yg selalu ngertiin gue, harus rela disakitin. Rela ngorbanin perasaannya untuk tetep bertahan pacaran sama gue. Walau sebenernya gue tau. Dihati kecil dia, udah gak ada sayang buat gue lagi.

what?

.

who's win  now? haha

this is yellin' in ma head

Lagi berantem ya? Iya.
Salah lagi ya? Iya.
Lagi emosi gini denger Mad-nya Neyo bikin tenang
Berhubung gue nulis lewat hape, jadi liriknya aja yaa!




Mad by Neyo


Oh oh oh, oh oh oh...
Oh oh oh...

[Verse 1]

She's starin' at me,
I'm sittin', wonderin' what she's thinkin'.
Mmmmm
Nobody's talkin',
'Cause talkin' just turns into screamin'.
Ohhh...
And now is I'm yellin' over her,
She's yellin' over me.
All that that means
Is neither of us is listening,
(And what's even worse).
That we don't even remember why were fighting.

So both of us are mad for

[Hook]

Nothin'
(Fighting for).
Nothin'
(Crying for).
Nothin'
(Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin'
(No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no

[Verse 2]

And it gets me upset, girl
When you're constantly accusing.
(Askin' questions like you've already known).
We're fighting this war, baby
When both of us are losing.
(This ain't the way that love is supposed to go).

Whoaaaaaaaaa...
[What happened to workin' it out].
We've falled into this place
Where you ain't backin' down
And I ain't backin' down.

So what the hell do we do now...
It's all for...

[Hook]

Nothin'
(Fighting for).
Nothin'
(Crying for).
Nothin'
(Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin'
(No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby...

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...

[Bridge]

Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect,
(Perfect, perfect, oh oh).
And just how good it's gonna be.
We can't fuss and we can't fight
Long as everything alright between us
Before we go to sleep.

Baby, we're gonna be happy.

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

[Chorus]

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed
(Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed
(Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no

its only for you:)

Buat kamu yg lagi marah. Semoga cepet reda ya emosinya:)

Siapa sih yg gak kesel dibohongin? Siapa sih yg gak kesel disakitin terus menerus?
Pasti kesel...pasti kecewa...
Mungkin ini yg lagi dirasain Akmal. Akmal udah terlalu sering gue bohongin. Gue sakitin
Tp dia tetep mau nerima gue apa adanya.
Dia masih jadi Akmal yg dulu
Yg suka marah-marah kalo gue ngeselin:p

Pernah gak kalian bayangin betapa kecewanya seseorang sama kita sampe orang itu pergi dari hidup kita?
Ini yg lg gue bayangin. Gue takut bgt Akmal pergi.
Pergi dan gak akan balik lagi
Gue ngerasa bego banget udah nyakitin dia berkali-kali.
Tp dia tetep diem. Tetep tenang
Gimana gue kalo jadi Akmal?
Gue pasti udah gak bisa nahan emosi lg.
Gue salah satu orang yg amat sangat beruntung bisa dijagain, disayang sama Akmal
Akmal baik
Perhatian
Setia
Apa adanya
Sempurna
mungkin banyak yg mau sama Akmal. Mungkin suatu hari nanti, kalo Akmal udah gak bisa nahan emosinya lagi, dia bakal pergi jauh, cari sosok yg lebih bisa ngertiin dia.
Makanya skrg gue berusaha bgt bikin Akmal seneng. Biar dia tau kalo gue tulus sayang sama dia:)